I read the original short story Brokeback Mountain (you can too, follow the link) and I have to say it doesn’t seem like a love story to me. It seems more like a tragic tale of obsession and broken people. The reparative theory supporters will have a great time with the two main characters who fit almost all of the stereotypes. Abused/tragic boys grow up to become broken men willing to do anything to keep body and soul together. Alone with whiskey and each other, they have drunken sex, thus beginning a guilt tinged obsession that breaks up a marriage. I would think it would be an offense to call this a “gay-themed movie.”
Hope this brings a chuckle:
This Christmas season is just getting stranger as we go. All over the place people are trying to figure out what to say to each other (â€œHappy holiday(s),â€ â€œMerry Christmas,â€ â€œGet out of my way, I want that iPodâ€) and how to talk about the time of year we are in. I tried just saying Happy December to a few people and they just rolled their eyes. I agree; it didnâ€™t do much for me either.
Schools are hotbeds for these kinds of scuffles. One school near Seattle spent $494 to reprint a cafeteria menu that had Merry Christmas on it. The news account in the Seattle Post-Intelligencer said â€œa new nutrition services employee mistakenly prepared them (the menus) with the greeting â€˜Merry Christmas.â€™â€ Apparently, the new nutrition services employee missed an important part of the job orientation.
Another Seattle-area school district had a problem with a Christmas tree. Some shrewd people at Medina Elementary are aware that far away from the tolerant halls of the public school some children still celebrate Christmas. Thus, they put paper mittens labeled with gift ideas on the tree to serve as buying prompts for the students. Children were to take them and bring back the wrapped gifts to distribute to needy children as Christmas presents. Not on tax payer funded school time of course. The whole plan was undone by some thoughtless and probably bigoted person who put a star on the top of the tree, thus giving the tree an eerie and palpably offensive resemblance to a religious symbol. Naturally a parent complained and the school staff resourcefully covered up the star on the tree, calling it a â€œgiving tree.â€ Brilliant.
However, the affront to the sensibilities of the offended parent was not assuaged by this clever subterfuge. And now, the tree is gone. In the nonspecific spirit of the nonspecific season, the school is continuing to distribute paper mittens and accept donations at the counter in the office. The school office manager explained: â€œWe covered the star and called it a giving tree. We hoped it would suffice, but it didn’t,” Chris Metzger said. “Now we just have a giving counter.”
I can hear the school holiday program now. Instead of the strains of â€œO Christmas Tree,â€ the children will sing: â€œO Giving Counter, O Giving Counter, How Shiny is Thy Surface.â€
Speaking of catchy and inclusive holiday pageant tunes, an elementary school district in Wisconsin caught flack over their presentation of the play â€œThe Little Treeâ€™s Christmas Gift.â€ In the play, an unwanted Christmas tree sings a song called â€œCold in the Night.â€ The words are â€œCold in the night, no one in sight, winter winds whirl and bite, how I wish I were happy and warm, safe with my family out of the storm.” These words are to be sung to the tune of â€œSilent Nightâ€ (for those of you who donâ€™t know or remember, Silent Night is a Christmas carol).
My sympathy goes out to the little tree with hypothermia. But not everyone was touched.
After receiving significant heat, both in the night and the day from Christmas defenders, the school district warmed to the idea of including the real Silent Night in the school program. And so, the schoolâ€™s Winter-time celebrations included Santa, Kwanza, Chanukah, a Christmas witch, and the Holy Infant, so tender and mild, sleeping in Heavenly peace.
All of this holiday happiness got me thinking. What is a holiday anyway?The dictionary reminds us that holiday is derived from two words: holy and day. A holy day. So at root, a holiday is a day set aside for religious observance. Seems like weâ€™ve come full circle.
Hereâ€™s how I am going to think of it. When folks say â€œhappy holidays,â€ they are really wishing me a pleasant holy observance. In my tradition, during December, that would be Christmas. I appreciate that. And I will smile to myself knowing that one cannot completely avoid the reason for the season, even when tolerantly trying to do so.
In any case, whatever your holy tradition, here is wishing everyone a Happy Holyday.
Nearly every discussion about sexual education focuses on preventing sexually transmitted diseases and pregnancy. However, recent research published in the American Journal of Preventive Medicine finds that, especially for girls, the discussion needs to include a third negative possibility: depression.
Most medical and mental health professionals would agree that there is a link between depression and sexual and drug using behavior in adolescents. However, it is commonly assumed that depressed teens use sex and drugs to â€œmedicateâ€ their depression. Thus, when faced with a depressed, sexually active teen, adults may overlook sexual or drug using behavior with the hope that the risky behavior will cease once the depression is gone.
Although the depression followed by sex and drugs link seems to make sense, a new study, which followed over 13,000 middle and high school students for two years in a row, found that depression did not predict risky sexual or drug using behavior. Instead, the study found that depression often follows risky behavior. Lead author of the study, Dr. Denise Hallfors told me in an interview that her research team found evidence that heavy drug and alcohol use significantly increased the likelihood of depression among boys. For girls, the findings are stunning: Even low levels of alcohol, drug or sexual experimentation increased the probability of depression for girls.
Read the remainder of the article at DrThrockmorton.com.
Also, I confess, I read the comments at Exgay Watch about this article and they are comical.
Read about the Real Saint Nick…
Over the years, a number of people (gay and ex-gay) have contacted me to say that the reparative model just doesn’t fit their relationships with their parents. I have kept some but not many of those emails or letters. If you fit this description, please contact me via email (firstname.lastname@example.org). I am piloting a possible research effort and would like to correspond.
With the Christmas season upon us, I felt it would be a public service to provide the signs and symptoms of a common but not well-researched malady known as Post-Christmas Stress Disorder. Be warned and well.
Diagnostic Criteria for 311.5x Post-Christmas Stress Disorder
A. Four (or more) of the following symptoms have been present during the same two-week period and represent a change from previous functioning.
(1) refuses to take down Christmas decorations within one week after Christmas. (In chronic cases, leaves decorations up year round.) Note: In children, makes Christmas related requests year round;
(2) seeks out shopping opportunities on the day immediately following Christmas;
(3) depressed mood, more days than not (e.g., sings “Blue Christmas” repeatedly);
(4) vocal tics (e.g., “Ho, ho, ho”);
(5) compulsive Christmas related behavior (e.g., Wraps and unwraps presents even though no gift is inside);
(6) catatonic, expectant behavior (e.g., Stands for long periods of time, immobile, under mistletoe);
(7) gift returns outnumber presents;
(8) avoidant of references to Christmas (e.g., refers to “holiday trees,” “holiday ornaments,” or “the Sparkle season;”
(9) irrational interpersonal behavior (e.g., Calls the time and temperature guy to wish him a Merry Christmas); and
(10) inappropriate startle response (e.g., jumps or easily startled by video game or other novel noises).
B. Symptoms do not meet criteria for Post-Christmas Adjustment Disorder
C. Symptoms cause clinically significant distress
D. Symptoms aren’t due to effects of a substance (e.g., eggnog, fruitcake, punch, etc.)
Specify (for current or most recent episode)
.x1 Mild â€“ minimum number of symptoms are net
.x2 Moderate – six or more symptoms
.x3 Severe â€“ nearly all symptoms but without delusions/hallucinations
.x4 Severe with hallucinations (e.g., Converses with “ghost of Christmas past, present or future”)
.x5 Severe with delusions (e.g., Arms self to protect against Grinch)
.x6 With trauma associated (e.g., Witnesses mother kissing Santa Claus)
May we be spared this fate.
Apparently, Lowes doesn’t mind offending Spanish speaking non-Christians. (Navidad means Nativity or Christmas.)
“To ensure consistency of our message and to avoid confusion among our customers, we are now referring to the trees only as ‘Christmas Trees.’ We have also removed a banner that read, ‘Holiday Trees’ from the front of our stores.”
Now here is something I am going to learn to treat. Maybe Freud was correct; everything does go back to sex and aggression, sometimes simultaneously.
I do think the “David Syndrome” is the result of a developmental arrest. My son does this all the time. He builds things and then delights in tearing them down. He draws things and then he rips them up. I think it should be called the “Lego Syndrome.”
DSM-V, here I come.
This excerpt from a recent NARTH newsletter seems to be a pretty wild claim:
When I ask women who do not struggle with same-sex attraction the question, “What were your hopes and dreams as a little girl?” they quickly describes fantasies or hopes about escaping from their sadness or loneliness. In contrast, women with same-sex attraction struggle to remember any hopes or dreams. As little girls they didn’t or couldn’t project themselves beyond the pressent moment. Perhaps they were tied to the present because they still needed to build their most foundational piece, a self. Life cannot progress without a self.” – August, 2005, Janelle Hallman, p. 13.
Much reparative therapy literature is about men. As I understand it, men work with men and women with women in therapy. So here is some reparative “wisdom” about women. Lesbians don’t have selves? The claim is the same as on the male side. Lesbians did not bond with mom and thus failed to develop a secure feminine sense of self. They then look for it in another woman. I guess that makes lesbians selfless. Isn’t that a good thing? Any selfless women out there want to take this on?
From the Advocate:
Gay man runs for APA president
The Advocate, CA
An openly gay man is running for president of the American Psychiatric Association. Jack Drescher heads the APA’s Association of Gay and Lesbian Psychiatrists and is a critic of therapeutic efforts to turn gay people straight. This summer he told The New York Times that “most people who go through these experiences often come out feeling worse than when they went in.”
Activists in the “ex-gay” movement say that if Drescher wins the post, it could mean dark days for them. Alan Chambers of Exodus International said on Focus on the Family’s news site that he’s “very concerned that our culture is being fed misinformation and that people are reacting in a way that is detrimental to our religious liberties.”
One of the leading proponents of reparative therapy, Warren Throckmorton, told Family News in Focus that there’s no way of predicting Drescher’s agenda but that whatever it is, he’ll be highly visible and influential. The APA sends out ballots next month. (Sirius OutQ News)
For the record, I am not a reparative therapist. I don’t accept the validity of the neo-psychoanalytic explanation for all same sex attractions; I do not follow the therapeutic formulations of reparative therapists. I believe people are capable of integrating their sexuality within a traditional religious or value position regarding sexuality and that sometimes this leads to significant change in the direction of their sexual attractions. I believe that romantic orientation and erotic orientation are related but distinct processes and that romantic attachment can re-orient erotic orientation (e.g., Sheryl Swoopes, ex-gay men who are attracted to their wives only). I believe that biologically based temperamental factors interact with environmental factors which lead to same sex erotic orientations (e.g., Bem). If that makes me a reparative therapist, then the word is a poor choice for a general belief in change potential for those who desire to pursue it.