Are You Ready for Some Football? Not during revival…

Don’t get used to it because during the season of dominion, no one will be watching it. The Morning Star Ministries’ Rick Joyner ‘splains

Joyner says:

I’m not saying their going to cancel the NFL, but it could get to that.

If this gets out, the New Apostolic Reformation will be doomed in Western PA.

Barton: Gender bending honorable during Revolutionary War

On Glen Beck’s show on Friday, David Barton said:

BECK: On that program, what took a lot of viewers by surprise was that some women actually served in the military during the American Revolution.
(BEGIN VIDEOTAPE)
BECK: I have to ask you about this handsome lady.
BARTON: 1782, she wanted to do something for her country. She dressed like a man and went and enlisted.
Now, what’s interesting is she’s 22 years old at the time and other guys in the army, I always kid her about, you never shave. You’re just a kid. Of course, she didn’t shave. She’s a lady.
She got wounded in a battle up at West Point and she treated the wound herself so no one would find out what her gender was.
BECK: Holy cow.
BARTON: She later, in Philadelphia, came up with a really high fever, almost unconscious and so the physician had to check her and at that time, find out what her gender was. So, when they found out her gender, they quietly moved her out of Army. But General Henry Knox is the one that gave her an honorable discharge out of the Army at West Point.
BECK: Wow.
BARTON: She ends up with a military pension because she served as a soldier. And if you were a soldier, you got the pension so pretty cool story.

But let’s not have any of that now…

Bryan Fischer blacked out; Update – Now just fired up

UPDATE: Too good to be true, he’s back.

His blog has been blacked out that is. Here is what you see when go there now:

If you highlight the letters, however, you can read the words. Here is one of his latest commending firemen for letting a house burn to the ground over a fee.

Other blogs on the site are not blacked out, like this one where Buster (!) Wilson complains about Richard Land defending Muslims’ right to build a mosque. Imagine that, Richard Land going liberal. Where are the virtual black Sharpies when you need one?

I noticed this earlier in the week, when I went to read the defense of the Bad Samaritans, and the column seemed to be gone. But I checked it out more closely after reading this Christianity Today column by Tobin Grant.

Maybe after awhile, a secret code will be require to read the meanderings of Mr. Fischer. For now, the view looks good to me.

U.N to appoint ambassador to Outer Space

When the aliens arrive, they will need to make reservations with Mazlan Othman, the head of the United Nation’s Office of Outer Space Affairs.

I am glad to see this as it is long over due. The UN will be dismantling the Men in Black unit (MIBU) in preparation for formal relations with the Diplomatic Inter-Planetary Society (DIPS).

I am taking courses in diplomacy in preparation for a possible appointment to the Office of Nautical Nonsense and an ambassadorship to Bikini Bottom.

Colonel Sanders responsible for homosexualization of America

Bolivia – WTHN – Today, Spero News reported that Bolivian President Evo Morales linked eating hormonally enhanced chicken with problems in masculinity, saying,

“The chicken that we eat is chock-full of feminine hormones. So, when men eat these chickens, they deviate from themselves as men.”

The chicken – homosexuality link was presaged in the US by a WorldNetDaily author, Jim Rutz, who linked soy products with an upsurge in bromance around the world. Rutz said, “Soy is feminizing, and commonly leads to…sexual confusion and homosexuality.”

One source who spoke only on condition of anonymity said, “You can blame the whole culture war on Colonel Sanders. That’s who started it. Then it was chicken nuggets, and chicken tenders. Now you understand how those chicken dishes got their names.”

The anonymous ex-chicken farmer said the disclosure from the Bolivian president could be devastating to both the American fast food and fashion industries.

Elsewhere, a prominent Iranian cleric countered the Bolivian president by saying that feminized chickens also cause earthquakes, but only if they are promiscuous.

Iranian cleric: Promiscuous women cause quakes; Dutch Sheets has the answer

Well, everybody knows that. Read to the end for the rest of the endtimes news…

By SCHEHEREZADE FARAMARZI (AP) – 1 hour ago

BEIRUT — A senior Iranian cleric says women who wear immodest clothing and behave promiscuously are to blame for earthquakes.

Iran is one of the world’s most earthquake-prone countries, and the cleric’s unusual explanation for why the earth shakes follows a prediction by President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad that a quake is certain to hit Tehran and that many of its 12 million inhabitants should relocate.

“Many women who do not dress modestly … lead young men astray, corrupt their chastity and spread adultery in society, which (consequently) increases earthquakes,” Hojatoleslam Kazem Sedighi was quoted as saying by Iranian media. Sedighi is Tehran’s acting Friday prayer leader.

Women in the Islamic Republic are required by law to cover from head to toe, but many, especially the young, ignore some of the more strict codes and wear tight coats and scarves pulled back that show much of the hair.

“What can we do to avoid being buried under the rubble?” Sedighi asked during a prayer sermon Friday. “There is no other solution but to take refuge in religion and to adapt our lives to Islam’s moral codes.”

Seismologists have warned for at least two decades that it is likely the sprawling capital will be struck by a catastrophic quake in the near future.

Some experts have even suggested Iran should move its capital to a less seismically active location. Tehran straddles scores of fault lines, including one more than 50 miles (80 kilometers) long, though it has not suffered a major quake since 1830.

In 2003, a powerful earthquake hit the southern city of Bam, killing 31,000 people — about a quarter of that city’s population — and destroying its ancient mud-built citadel.

“A divine authority told me to tell the people to make a general repentance. Why? Because calamities threaten us,” Sedighi said.

Referring to the violence that followed last June’s disputed presidential election, he said, “The political earthquake that occurred was a reaction to some of the actions (that took place). And now, if a natural earthquake hits Tehran, no one will be able to confront such a calamity but God’s power, only God’s power. … So let’s not disappoint God.”

The Iranian government and its security forces have been locked in a bloody battle with a large opposition movement that accuses Ahmadinejad of winning last year’s vote by fraud.

Ahmadinejad made his quake prediction two weeks ago but said he could not give an exact date. He acknowledged that he could not order all of Tehran’s 12 million people to evacuate. “But provisions have to be made. … At least 5 million should leave Tehran so it is less crowded,” the president said.

Minister of Welfare and Social Security Sadeq Mahsooli said prayers and pleas for forgiveness were the best “formulas to repel earthquakes.”

“We cannot invent a system that prevents earthquakes, but God has created this system and that is to avoid sins, to pray, to seek forgiveness, pay alms and self-sacrifice,” Mahsooli said.

In other news presaging the apocalypse, Dutch Sheets is calling for a big Joel’s army gathering (Joel 2 Gathering) in Poplar Bluffs, MO for June 14-18, 2010. Called the Wilderness Outcry, the  event is necessary to prevent coming hard times. Sheets says unless we act,

The stock market will go well below where it went a few months back—a crash is coming, and soon. More terrorism and violence will occur in our land, perhaps even war. In my spirit I’ve seen buildings crumbling and cities burning. Devastating natural disasters will take place. In general, hard times will be prevalent. Why is this so? Because we have turned from God and His ways. Consider the true condition of America. This assessment is bleak but accurate.

Now he tells us.

Want to cover your bases? Pack up your promiscuous women and head to Poplar Bluffs.

Sue-a-what? Lindsay Lohan wants her some E-Trade

Remember the E-Trade commercial that featured the girl baby asking the boy baby why he didn’t call her last night? And then we find out that the boy baby was dividing his time between the first girl baby and “that milk-a-holic, Lindsay?” In case you forgot, here it is. But near the end, don’t blink and see if you think “Lindsay Lohan” when the literal babe jumps out and asks the age old question, “milk-a what?”

Never occured to me but it did to Lindsay Lohan. She is suing E-Trade for unlawfully using her “likeness, name, characterization, and personality.” Her likeness?

You mean, like, say what?