Category: Lame attempts at humor

Obama: Prince of Peace?

President Obama wins Nobel Peace Prize

OSLO – The Nobel Committee stunned the world today by awarding US President, Barack Obama, the Nobel Peace Prize.

Committee chair, Thorbjoern Jagland, said it was kind of a consolation prize since Chicago didn’t win the 2016 Olympic games.

“We just all felt sorry for Obama,” Jagland said. “He was all sad and stuff, you know, over the Olympic thing, so we thought it would be a nice pick-me-up.”

Hearing the news, Nobel Laureate, Al Gore said, “What the…? What has he done? At least I invented the Internet.”

The White House had no comment.

 

(The second part is lame parody; the first part, strangely, is not.)

UPDATE: Comedians give the event two thumbs up!

Best Obama-Nobel Jokes

October 09, 2009 10:09 AM

Courtesy of conservative activist Keith Appell:

Barack Obama’s Teleprompter: Big Guy says Bill Clinton called and was gracious in defeat; offered to fly Kanye West over 4 the Nobel awards ceremony.

Erick Erickson: Obama is becoming Jimmy Carter faster than Jimmy Carter became Jimmy Carter.

Ana Marie Cox: Apparently Nobel prizes now being awarded to anyone who is not George Bush.

Headline over AP analysis by White House correspondent Jennifer Loven: He Won, But For What?

Kathryn Jean Lopez, National Review: I want to buy the world a coke.

Ezra Klein: Obama also awarded Nobel prize in chemistry. “He’s just got great chemistry,” says Nobel Committee.

Adam Bromberg, CRC: Nobel Prize Committee must be staffed by out of work comedy writers.

Kristina Hernandez, CRC: It was the Beer Summit that put Obama over the edge.

– George Stephanopoulos

Various Blog Additions:

Cecil: Miss America was robbed. She was for world peace way before Obama was for it.

Tony Ramirez: The Cook County Democratic machine ain’t what it used to be. They were supposed to bribe the Olympics Committee.

Mesquito: Was he, like, the tenth caller or something?

Ron: I thought I should have won, I haven’t fought with my wife in more than a year.

US Veteran: Obama Wins Heisman Trophy After Watching Football Game

Add Your Own!

Make it an Obama holiday season

The Obama for America store has some items for your holiday gift giving needs. For that cold loved one, maybe someone who didn’t vote for change:

Warren —
This holiday season, celebrate the historic accomplishment of our movement for change. Treat yourself or a loved one to a limited edition Obama fleece scarf.
Make a donation of $25 or more right now and get an official Obama scarf to mark an amazing year:

scarf

Or how about this collection of holiday favorites sung by the President-elect.
MC songs
Items purchased by December 15th are guaranteed to be delivered before December 25th.
When you make your donation, you’ll be supporting the Democratic National Committee. The resources they invested in the 50-state organizing strategy made this movement possible — help us build for future victories together.
Share this amazing moment with your friends and family. Thanks to supporters like you, we all have the opportunity to bring real change to America.
Thank you,
Obama for America

Nothing says Happy Holidays like an Obama scarf and album…

Borowitz: McCain sends Biden to key swing states

Said as only Andy Borowitz can:

October 22, 2008
McCain Sends Biden to Key Swing States
‘Just Keep Talking,’ Says Mac
In a move unprecedented in the annals of presidential politics, Republican presidential nominee John McCain announced today that he was sending Democratic vice presidential nominee Joseph Biden on a campaign trip to several key swing states.
“I told Joe, I will pay your plane fare, hotels, all your expenses,” Sen. McCain said. “Just get out there and say whatever’s on your mind, my friend.”
Sen. McCain added one small caveat: “Whatever you do, don’t edit yourself.”
The Arizona’s senator’s unusual proposal is part of what one aide called the campaign’s “Two Joes” strategy.
“For the next two weeks, this campaign is going to be all about two Joes,” said McCain spokesman Tucker Bounds. “Joe the Plumber and Joe the Blabber.”
But the McCain campaign’s plans were short-lived as Sen. Barack Obama today announced plans of his own for talkative running mate: “Between now and the election, Joe Biden will be reaching out to voters in Antarctica and possibly the Moon.”
Sen. Biden said he was grateful for the assignment, adding, “I will be proud to serve under Barack Obama, especially when one of our enemies tries to test him with a full-on nuclear attack. Kerblooey!!!!”

Andy writes referring to Joe Biden’s prophecy of a significant international test for a newly minted President Obama.
Here is what Biden said:

Mark my words. It will not be six months before the world tests Barack Obama like they did John Kennedy. The world is looking,” Biden said.
“Remember I said it standing here. if you don’t remember anything else I said. Watch, we’re gonna have an international crisis, a generated crisis, to test the mettle of this guy. And he’s gonna have to make some really tough — I don’t know what the decision’s gonna be, but I promise you it will occur. As a student of history and having served with seven presidents, I guarantee you it’s gonna happen,” Biden continued.

However, to my knowledge no one is reporting Biden’s attempt to reframe his comments.
Biden added, “What I meant was the Obama will receive a very hard written test from the world, and he will pass it with flying colors. When Jack Kennedy was tested like that during the Korean war, he logged on to the Internet and assured the American people that he could pass that test, and he did!”
And if you wonder why this hasn’t been reported, see this: Joe Biden’s fun with history!