I received this email from a trusted source. It describes a parent’s view of a daughter’s sexuality after a trauma. This appears to represent some kind of shift in behavior and even desire due to a life experience. With Lisa Diamond, I submit that some women may be more likely to experience such a shift than most males.
After our young adult daughter was raped, she went into counseling. Her counselor recommended a support group with women who had similar experiences. It was one of those groups that believed retelling the trauma of her experience was helpful. After awhile she began to really generalize her anger toward all men. After several weeks of this, after her anger toward men became generalized, her individual counselor suggested that she try dating women. Before her sexual assault, our daughter had no interest in women sexually. This was not our assumption; this is what she told us.
She believed she had decided carefully about a counselor so, she thought, ‘perhaps this is a good idea,’ since her feelings toward men were not accepting. Several of the women in her group were open to dating women in order to not feel lonely and learn to receive affection. An older woman who was a lesbian took her under her wing. During this time, our daughter never shared about what was happening, as she knew it was far from her Christian world view, but she was desperate to move on from her pain and her counselor suggested this as a means to do so.
Since then she has come to believe her counselor was right and being with women is the only safe way to give and get love. She sees herself as a bisexual but hasn’t had relationships with men recently.