An acquaintance sent this to me today. While not all readers will agree with each point, I thought it expressed one parent’s expression of love for his child while remaining aligned with a faith that does not affirm homosexuality. With permission of this man, I reproduce here the entire email. My thanks to the author for that permission.
Subject: Re: Reflections from a Dad
I went to the funeral yesterday to pay my respects to a friend of the family. I think it is times like this where I step back and reflect on life. So here are a few of my reflections during some quiet time this morning:
* First of all, this same-sex attraction (SSA) issue that my son is going through is NOT ABOUT ME.
* I am not and will not be angry at my son for his SSA. He DID NOT CHOOSE the feelings, but he is choosing to act on them. By the way,
the same way we choose to act on our feelings.
* I have to STOP focusing on changing him, that is NOT MY JOB. My job as a parent is to Love him to Christ.
* My prayer is that he continues to draw closer to the Lord and then God will do whatever he wants to do with my son’s life. It may mean
change his SSA, or it may mean that he chooses to live a different way.
* This SSA journey is not going to be over tomorrow. I can’t take it through drive thru and make it go away, I can’t take it to one hour
photo, I can’t take it to Fed Ex, and make it going away by 10 am tomorrow, I can’t put in the microwave and zap it, etc, etc, etc…I think
you get my point.
* The SSA feelings are probably NEVER going to go away for our children. They may choose to live a different lifestyle and not act on the SSA, but the feelings at some level will always be there for them.
* Lord, help me walk a day in my son’s shoes. Always worried about being judged, always worried about being disowned by friends and
family, not feeling welcomed in many, many, many churches, always being afraid to embrace his friend–worrying about what others might
think, worrying about safety.
* God is continuing to put on my heart that I should stop obsessing about my son’s SSA, and focus more on praying for him.
* I will not judge my son’s Christianity, I will not judge my son’s relationship with the Lord, I cannot and should not judge what is in his heart – – that is between he and God.
After all, did anyone PUSH me into Christianity? In the mid 90’s, I came to Christ because someone Loved me to Christ. He didn’t judge my sin, he didn’t question my salvation, he didn’t judge my life, he followed God’s call and he invited me…. That was all he did, Loved me and invited me to hear God’s message.
My Prayer: Lord, help me focus on my walk with you. Help me pray for others, not just my son with SSA, but my neighbors, co-workers, friends, other family and of course, Father, help me continue to lift up all the kids and adults struggling with SSA. Lord, help me make this not about me, but about the Faith, Hope and Love that only comes through knowing you.
Reflection from a Dad.