Also, I agree with Warren and Eddy. Your tone is getting out of hand and, to be frank, it probably hurts your arguments more than anything else.

I’ll be frank with you. I regard the homophobic environment in which I grew up as abusive. (Some might like to describe it by a “nicer” sounding word than homophobic, but I adhere to that statement no matter what word they prefer to use.) I can’t actually blame those responsible for it: the abuse was passive rather than active – that’s “just the way things were” then – and those who inflicted it didn’t realise what they were doing, still less to whom they were doing it, but it was still abuse. Fortunately, if there were any ex-gay ministries in the UK at that time, they had such a low profile that I was unaware of them – a piece of ignorance for which I cannot express my gratitude with any approach to adequacy; I certainly didn’t need that form of spiritual abuse piled on top of everything else.

But I think that I had things easy compared to some people; I have to confess that I still occasionally find myself shedding tears when I hear some of my gay friends describing to me how their teenage years and early twenties were likewise stolen from them as a result of the homophobic ethos which was prevalent even until comparatively recently, and which led to years of psychological pain and self-destructive behaviour. I just thank God that all the ones whom I know have got through it in one piece and have achieved healthy self-acceptance.

Homophobic abuse during one’s youth is not unlike sexual abuse in childhood: like the latter, it is liable to have extremely damaging effects on the lives of those who are subjected to it, causing psychological injuries from which it can sometimes take many years to recover. There is fortunately, however, an effective balm which can heal the deep wounds caused by such abuse, as well as being thoroughly good and beautiful in itself – a loving gay relationship.

http://www.abhow.com/about/news_aboutus?search_string=amity&categories=&search=Go&id=64161

I gave you honest answers.

Regarding Miller, yes I know more than what I read in the Independent. I am not able to go into how I know but I do. That is vague I know, and I doubt you will believe it but I am not speaking out of school. Because of the situation, I have to be vague. Even so, I never said he was egotistical or a heretic or attacked his honesty or his character. You on the other hand have done so. Again, if you really want to discuss matters in a civil manner, then you may continue posting, if not, then I will not allow it.

“This valuable source of information for spouses, families, and professionals is based on Dr. Buxton’s eight years of research, including interviews with 1,000 straight spouses and children, her own personal experience, and her counseling work with spouses of gay, lesbian and bisexual partners.”

http://www.straightspouse.org/theother.php

And, while there may be some barriers in the heterosexual bedroom, there can also be benefits to the marriage that shouldn’t be overlooked. Some appreciate a spouse who ‘doesn’t already know it all’; some learn to appreciate the emotional and conversational intimacy aspects more than focussing on the sexual. Some women have maintained that they appreciate having a transparent partner who understands those other aspects of intimacy…it seems it’s an area where many straight men are a bit deficient.

Eddy,

I appreciate these wise words and know they apply to many couples from all walks of life and experiences. At the end of the day (yes, I know it is an overrated phrase), emotional and conversational intimacy trumps everything – it is the glue that holds everything else together. It is sexy with or without sex. Without emotional intimacy, the relationship is shallow – with it, the foundation is set for anything else that might be built from it.

BTW, you want to be appear educated and credentialled, however you accuse Warren of hating people when I know that not to be true. He disagrees with and disapproves of the methods of a few but, if you are incapable of distinguishing that from hate, you’ve got a perceptional bias. And the word is hypocrisy not hypocracy and it’s two sides of the same coin not two signs.