His description of his experience sounds like a mingling of an MKP training weekend and a 6 year old’s terror, embarrassment, and overwhelm over having just been molested – as Michael had when he was 6. He was coping with MKP’s pressure like a 6 year-old rather than an adult. It sounds like it refreshed his molestation experience and made it feel like right now. And all of the fear and embarrassment and SHAME was made to be new and fresh and NOW. Addicts usually take whatever their drugs are as a response to shame. Feeling like they are worthless, bad, wrong. Most of us who’ve been molested grow up feeling just like that. Some people who were molested have been known to commit suicide.

The MKP may be OK as far as they go, but a 12-step group WORKED DILIGENTLY will get you further, but more slowly. There’s something in our culture that wants to fix problems RIGHT NOW. Some problems can’t be fixed that fast and trying to do so causes bigger problems like, perhaps, in Michael’s case.

MKP is limited in what they’re able to do, they don’t have Jung’s deep understanding of the unconscious mind. They have a laudable goal and, from what I’ve seen, work toward it with some measure of integrity. But their approach is limited and, for some, ill-advised.

I know men who have, as I have, been through one of these weekends. Their i-groups or whatever meetings are a lot like an Al Anon or Co-dependents Anonymous meeting without the safety and structure of Al Anon or CODA and where other people sometimes try to do your work for you, which is really a lot less helpful than it seems.

In the 12-step groups, there’s a code-word for anyone who’s trying to take advantage of a newcomer for their own ends. They call them “13th-steppers”. There is no 13th step. The insinuation is that the person taking advantage of the newcomer is trying to add their own new step to the 12 steps. I wouldn’t hesitate to say that anyone who is working the first 12 steps with the integrity that MKP tries to teach won’t be trying to coerce or pressure anyone into going to an MKP weekend.

A real man will respect the wishes of another man and not try repeatedly to pressure him into joining their favorite organization or group.